You enter your home and almost trip over shoes… Well, that happens, but when next to the shoes you can see some strange, striped t-shirt lying of the floor, some old khaki pants and gun holster, and you step on some goddamn BBs… You should know there’s something going on… And it wasn’t you who made such a mess (let’s be honest, you’ve got a lot more clothes than he does so it wouldn’t be strange), it was him…
That’s right girl. He’s going to play airsoft.
Hi, my name is MM and I’m 18 years old*. My boyfriend is an airsofter.
(Hi MM, we support you!)
50 shades of living with airsofter
Well, maybe not shades, not really. It’s not about profits and losses, pros and cons, complaining and stuff. Life is to short to complain. It’s more about some specific observations, curiosities, maybe kind of case study. And fulfilling my curiosity – is this common or extraordinary? Am I the only one who can see those things? Maybe rest of us, girls of airsofters, sees it different way? Or maybe your thoughts are similar?
Back to clothes… Let me use simple example. Sunday, we’re about to visit my parents for dinner:
me: Don’t you have any better t-shirt? I’m going to wear nice dress and you look like…
him: Like what? I like this t-shirt, it’s cool.
me: Well it surely was cool, like 10 years ago.
him: Come on, it’s not that bad.
me: At least try to iron it…
Long story short: it’s easier to dress him than feed him, because unless I go and buy him some new clothes he won’t ever do that. He will wear his old clothes until they fall apart. But the airsoft clothes? That’s something completely different! He is genuinely sick when he’s got spend 40 EUR to get himself brand new shirt for our friends’ wedding and reception… But some lame-ass Russian t-shirt for 20 EUR? Or “tactical” shorts even more expensive than the shirt for the wedding? It’s not like he wants to buy them – his whole body literally screams “Shut up and take my money!” Honestly I think that he spends more money on clothes than I do, but I need to confirm that.
It’s really fascinating to watch his genuine contempt for the everyday clothes and completely opposite attitude when it comes to airsoft clothes.
New jeans? Damn, woman! I’ve got one pair of jeans, it would be a waste of money!
New, third uniform pants? Wow, what a bargain! 100 EUR for used ones? I need them!
Second jacket, because the old one is… like really, really old? That makes no sense, I can’t wear two jackets at the same time, can I?
Fourth uniform? Awesome! Guys from my time already have it, we will look fabulous together!
Back to the story from the beginning: when I enter the house and see “those” clothes on the floor I am 100% sure that the bathroom won’t be free for the next 2 hours. He will sit there, giggle like a little girl, make photos and send them to his pals discussing it on Messenger and talking if the whole outfit is “kosher” enough (strange, I used to associate that word with Jewish cuisine, but whatever).
It usually looks like that: the day before his airsoft skirmish he opens up the closet, takes out all of his uniforms and puts them on the floor. All of them, why not. And then it begins. Pants and jacket. The same jacket but with different pants. Back to pants number one, but let’s try third jacket. Let’s try equipment now – one tactical vest, later second one. Or maybe Smersh (yes, I know what that is). Honey, can you take me a picture? Quick consultation over the Messenger with pals. Back to the first one. Yep, it was the best. Pistol or no pistol? On the belt or on the leg? Cap? But which one? Back to the vest – he needs to add the radio pouch. But where? Ah, he’s got to move magazine pouch one row to the right. Ok, let’s move it. And so on…
So what should I do when I see things like that? Go back to my mother? No way, she warned me before and I don’t want to hear all this “I told you so” bullshit. Get a glass of wine? With such frequency I’d become an alcoholic in no time. Go on online shopping binge? Read a book? No. I’ve come up with a different way of coping with this…
I accept. I even participate. I knock on the bathroom door and say “well there pal, you look really good in the green!” And I can see that happy look an his face. Pure happiness that never happens event when we’re eating dinner made by his mother (and she’s not a better cook than I am, his taste is biased). And I really like him when he’s happy. Later he explains me why this t-shirt with that uniform, why he bought new stock and now he’s got to move some part somewhere else and magazines in some other place and something something something… I actually understand quite a lot of those things and words, I had to learn. Sometimes I can even give him some advice like “well yes, gorka will be perfect for such weather conditions” or “let me help you with that Smersh”. And you should see the look on his face when I told him that his rifle looks much cooler with DTK instead of PBS… Priceless. Of course I had to google what that damn DTK is (and consult one of his friend to be 100% sure).
On the other hand – if I can learn differences between his camouflages and guns he could try to comprehend the difference between my mascara and eyeliner… But I guess you can’t have everything.
So I’m generally happy when I enter the house and almost trip over the holster or bag of bbs because I know that he’s in a good mood and that he will probably cook something for dinner to appease me for his absence on Sunday, and when he finally decides his outfit we will sit together and watch some movie… Probably about war 😉
What do you think, girls? Any similarities with your men? Or is ti completely different? I’m really curious 🙂
* not really 18, but does it really matter? 😉